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Stop the Madness! PDF Print E-mail
Written by Administrator   
Wednesday, 25 October 2000 18:35
French drivers have the reputation as some of the worst, possibly second only to Italy.  You could argue that it isn't that they are bad drivers just inventive drivers.  A Parisian driver routinely will navigate his Renault onto the sidewalk at 60 kph and race down 100 mètres of road at 90, then slam on the brakes and stop one inch behind another car.  Despite this I have only seen a few accidents.  And when they do occur you're pretty much on your own since the police are given no respect on the road.  When the French drive they expect to get cut off, but they call it driving.  And when someone does pull a stupid (by European driving standards), the extent of road rage I've seen is the exchange of a few pleasantries and how's your mama's dinner casserole jesters.  In California this is justification enough to shoot someone.

One must agree that Europeans in general have to deal with some not so easy driving conditions, roads wide enough for a person and maybe his horse, uphill, downhill and through windy passages (all in a standard), fountains and statues of dead people in the middle of intersections, people blindly walking across streets and restaurants located on the street.  I guess it is only fitting that they drive on the sidewalk when all the pedestrians are walking on the road.  And when there is the rare stop sign they've all been victimized by globalization.  What you say?

Why do all the stop signs in France say "stop"?  No, just think about it.  In French the word for stop is arrête(r).  It is important to keep in mind that the French have taken great measures to ensure their language remains as untainted as possible. Every year a council gets together in Paris, to officially determine which words will be printed in the French dictionary.  To my surprise I found printed in the 1999 version of the Larousse French dictionary the word stopper, which yes means to stop.  (I would like to know when that got in there.)  Regardless scattered all over France were thousands of arrête signs.  Were they not doing their job?

You can't convince me that the French government re-worded the signs for a new and improved look, part of the new millennium celebration.  This is obviously concessions to a world dominated by the English language.  One would think that to the French with their paranoia of the English language infiltrating and bastardizing the mother tongue, a "stop" sign would be an outrage.  Something done only by a crazy, pro-globalization group in a cloak-and-dagger operation.  But no, this is sanctioned by the French government.  So I ask, why would the French government, whom I assume paid for the signs, fund and support the use of English on official street signs?  Sure there are still a few arrête signs hanging about but they're old school now, just waiting to be replaced by a stop sign.

I have been informed that stop has been assimilated into the French language much like the word sandwich, job or the useful phrase, just a second, Mrs. Curry, I'm polishing the presidential podium.  I cannot deny that language is an ever evolving institution. And as cultures are ever changing so too must follow language.  For example, my grandmother would have had no clue what the word astronaut referred to; or the thousands of technological terms that have found their way into our dictionaries.  But the French already had a word for stop.  Why change it if it ain't broken?  Besides the word arrête is so super cool [soopair kewl].

While I am waiting for a more convincing explanation, at least one question may have been answered: why nobody does stop.  Sure the shape and colour are international, but I suppose it could make for a good argument.  "Sorry I ran over the pedestrian officer, I couldn't figure out what the sign was for."  Too bad they don't make arrête signs in the U.S. it would cut at least 10 minutes off my commute every morning.

An added note to pedestrians: much like stopping only inches from the car in front, the same goes for stopping for pedestrians.  As you step into the intersection you may get the impression that drivers are determined to mow you down.  But they do actually stop (usually). Of course, after you've already wet yourself in panic.
 
What's a Renault PDF Print E-mail
Written by Administrator   
Thursday, 02 November 2000 18:32
...and why is it parked on the sidewalk »

Did you know that in France a Twingo is classified as a family sedan?

It appears that in France when you are ready to make the all important decision of what car to buy, it is a short walk around the display room floor.

A Renault is a car produced in France. They come in I believe 4 styles and 3 colours. They are approximately the size of a half bathroom and have interior to match your grandmother's dressing gown. The size is however, quite economical. On a continent where a gallon of gas will set you back about 3 or 4 dollars U.S. the more fuel efficient the better. In addition, the Renault is well suited for navigating tiny European streets. Oh, and they fit better on the sidewalk. If you own a car in France you own a Renault (or a Peugeot). City buses, mail trucks, taxis, police cars, lorries, tanks you name it, its a Renault.

I passed by the Cadillac of Renaults today the Safrane. Though by non-European standards the Safrane would still be classified at Avis in between the compact and mid-size range. It had a sleek design, that is to say it wasn't shaped like the egg transport from Mork and Mindy, and complete with four doors, four full sized doors. A quite an accomplishment by Renault. Though I do hope it comes with lifetime valet parking.

All praise to the French; they have parallel parking down to the 1/8th of a millimeter. It is absolutely something that must be seen to be appreciated. The great mystery behind the ability to park in a space between two cars that is obviously smaller than your vehicle, is baffling. I honestly don't know how they do it, though I am beginning to think it isn't learned but an inherited talent. There are parking post which are designed to designate spaces as well as to keep you from slamming into the guy parked behind you. Most are constructed of plastic and making them all the more fun to run over. However, they will usually bounce right back into shape, remember you just ran over it in your Renault. I must note that it took me awhile to figure out their purpose since they were spaced the same distance apart that in the United States would form a barrier for restricting the entrance of cars.

For those who are parking inept there is another popular transportation option the moto (motorcycle, moped, etc). Though this means of transport comes with all its own problems. One can just image.

It has been brought to my attention that airbags in France simply wouldn't work. Let me explain, it all goes back to parking and the Renault. If your experience with airbags have been similar to mine. You know that a runaway shopping cart in the parking lot will engage your airbag. Now image the French method of parking, either spring boarding off parking post or the cars behind and in front of them. All I can add is that once and if airbags are standard in Renaults I want to be in the business of resetting them.

Renault
Last Updated on Wednesday, 23 July 2008 18:33
 
Out to Lunch PDF Print E-mail
Written by Administrator   
Saturday, 25 November 2000 18:48
The French have hours like a lawyer on a golf course.  If you are lucky enough to find a store open you're probably not in France.  Now if all stores had the same crazy hours at least you would know where you stood, outside most likely.  No, instead the hours of stores vary according to type, location, what day of the week it is and if it is indoors or outdoors.  In large cities indoor stores are open in general from 9:30 to 19:00. These hours are referred to as sans interruption or toute la journée, and in my opinion very reasonable.  In small towns, where lunch drags on all afternoon you need to take care of business between 9:00 to noon or from 14:00 to 19:00.  Now there are some stores in Paris that are open much later in the night and a few hypermarchés like Auchan or Le Clerc (Wal-Mart or Target type) that are open till around 22:00 or so.  However, most of these are out in the suburbs so if your a city dweller you'd better plan ahead.  Everything is closed on Sundays except grocery stores and open air markets which open at 9:00, however they are forbidden by law to be open past noon.

Did you follow all that. think that the hours kept by the Préfecture are my favourite, 9:00 to noon and 13:30 to 15:30 except on Thursdays when they are only open in the morning and on Fridays when they close at 15:00.  Closed all holidays and of course Saturdays and Sundays.  Popular as well with some proprietors is to be closed on Mondays or Thursday afternoons, as well as the third Wednesday of even numbered months that contain an odd number of letters.  I gave up, since my French is still horrid, it is difficult to call so I am reduced to doing a dry run before I actually need to be anywhere.

The hours are arranged specifically to allow all to enjoy a 2+ hour lunch.  This is difficult to digest I know, in the States you get 30 minutes.  It takes 15 minutes to prepare or go get and 15 minutes to scarf it down.  This is what lunch is all about. Try and image getting your food, sitting back enjoying every bite, conversing and arguing about politics throughout the meal, even having time for dessert, a cup of coffee and time to read the daily newspaper.  For an American this sort of thing occurs only a rest homes or events where it would be appropriate to play favourite waltzes by Lawrence Welk.  You must hand it to the French they know how to enjoy life and a good meal.  Maybe wound up Americans should take note. 

Until then sorry we're closed.
 

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